In my first essay on trust, I wrote that trust is a kind of social bridge. Even the Ten Commandments focus on ten rules that define spheres of trust as well as domains of moral certainty. Today, I’m emphasizing that trust allows us to actually function socially. I’m planning on a third essay.
What if we lived life based on the conviction that we could trust no one at all? Sadly, that happens. We would not only live a lonely life, but it would feel awful, angry, and would be a danger to ourselves. Ask a Seal.
The Navy Seals insist on the importance of both performance and trust. High performance may seem to far outweigh trust; but for the Seals, as they discuss a trade-off between the two, they actually prefer to be able to trust a teammate on assignment even if his skills are a bit off. Trust is essential for bridge building and survival.
Eric Geiger, pastor of the Mariner’s Church in Irvine, CA, clarifies the high value of trust by stating that in times of urgency and pressure, a solid trust allows confidence that the team can function as a solid team. However, pressure also amplifies any areas of mistrust. Mistrust slows everything down as we pause to measure and decide on risk. Trust also makes both the task and teamwork more enjoyable. (Blog Feb, 11, 2020).
Imagine yourself in your toughest situations. For me, that would be sailing in high winds at night once when I was 21. I was rescued by Harry Conner, my trusted friend. I went climbing Mt Marcy (NY) above the tree line in a fog with trusted friends like Rob Rideout when I was 22. That’s almost harmless compared to the Seals, but most of us work with teams, as I have in two churches as well as prison and city teams for Grace. Clearly, marriage with children amplifies the needs and benefits of trust all the more. Trust is essential to all of life.
As society gets more complex and more economic, low-level relationships disappear for many people. We are completely indifferent to who grew our food or delivered stuff to our stores. Amazon and even our neighbors seem entirely transactional. Through the media we observe rather than participate in relationships. Then, starved for relationships, we become fans. Buckeye nation? We see a Buckeye cap, and we are suddenly best friends. Or we talk to our pets (130 million in America). It’s even worse in urban areas because we actually see so many people with whom we have no relationship, and we have no desire for a relationship, implying that they (almost) do not exist. That attitude can lead to actual harm as we see so often on the news.
No wonder Bilbo said, “It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you do not keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.” (Fellowship of the Ring).
What harms trust in a community? Suspicion and judgment harm a community. That results, at best, in distant or tentative behavior. A climate of trust, as with the Seals, is essential for a family, church, or college community. Is it optional? Not at all. As Americans, we imagine that our faith is personal. True, but we think it’s mainly personal. That’s wrong.
After we trust Christ, we are formed into communities…churches. We in the West have the luxury of choosing whatever flavor we want, but once we choose one, we must be part of it as loyal and supportive partners. We are the ones who need to remove the ingredients of mistrust, whether it’s related to the 10 Commandments or the tone of the community. Build bridges of trust.
Jesus bore not just our moral transgressions but our failures and brokenness that relate to our interactions with each other whether intimate at home, merely close as a work, or social among chosen friends.
The universal trust that is part of our humanity is universally broken with lies, betrayal, and violence. Sadly, breaking trust is the way we break relationships. And yet we cannot live without relationships as Jesus bore not just our moral failures, but our failures and brokenness that relate to our interactions with each other whether intimate at home, merely close as at work or social among chosen friends. Trust supports the bridge.